my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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