You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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