I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
