your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
