So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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