Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
