Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
