When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
