Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
