i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You've changed since you got that strap on
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
