How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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