his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize