those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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