I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize