3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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