he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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