We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
PANTIES FOUND
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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