I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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