Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
