I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
