Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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