i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
