you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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