grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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