thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize