I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
