I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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