I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
