He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
