I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
