i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
