Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My ass is underappreciated
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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