Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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