Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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