I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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