she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
