Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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