it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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