"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
