He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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