she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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