Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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