Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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