Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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