Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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