I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
