She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize