i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
