What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize