Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Houston, we have a blender
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
