You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
that may or may not have been my penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
