I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
where are my eyebrows?
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