Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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