I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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