Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize