Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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