they need to just BURY HIM!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
