i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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