Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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