I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize