that's an acceptable place to lick
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
