Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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