You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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