No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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