Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
