I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
