Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
