Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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