I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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