so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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