Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
