Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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