no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize