fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
