but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
