Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
