Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
