from now on my penis is your penis
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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